I never thought I'd be the kind of person to get excited about fake flowers, but here I am, gushing over a piece of faux sea coral like it's the Second Coming. It all started when my sister, ever the arbiter of good taste, insisted I needed to "elevate" my bathroom wall hangings. Apparently, my collection of half-empty shampoo bottles and lone rubber duck weren't cutting it. So there I was, clicking around the local gift shop, surrounded by ceramic wall flowers masquerading as flora, when I saw it: a small, blue piece of coral that looked like it had been plucked straight from the ocean floor. It was so lifelike, I half expected a tiny crab to scuttle out and pinch me for staring. "It's abstract artwork," the saleswoman cooed, as if that justified the price tag. "It's Perfect modern wall art for the bathroom." I wanted to scoff, to maintain my cynical facade, but something about this little azure imposter spoke to me. Maybe it was the way it seemed to undulate, frozen in a perpetual ocean dance. Or perhaps it was the promise of bringing a touch of the sea to my landlocked, second-floor apartment. Before I knew it, I was hanging this abstract artwork above my toilet, feeling like I'd finally joined the ranks of sophisticated adults who have more than just toothpaste stains adorning their bathroom walls.