When my mother called to ask what to hang on a kitchen wall, I knew we were in for a wild ride. This was the woman who once decorated our entire house with ceramic clowns because she thought they would ward off evil spirits. Spoiler alert: they only warded off friends and potential dates. "How about a ceramic wall flower?" I suggested, immediately regretting opening this can of worms. "It's modern. Very trendy wall art decor" The flower I had in mind was a medium-sized, dark deep pink number that looked like it had been plucked from the garden of a Barbie dream house designed by Tim Burton. It was the kind of pink that screamed, "I'm not just any pink, I'm a pink that's seen things." "Oh, that sounds lovely," Mom cooed, and I could practically hear her reaching for her credit card. "It'll go perfectly with my new collection of anatomically correct heart-shaped salt and pepper shakers." As I hung up the phone, I couldn't help but smile. Sure, our family's taste in decor might be questionable at best, but at least we were consistent in our commitment to the bizarre. And who knows? Maybe this ceramic flower would be the conversation piece that finally explained why none of us could maintain long-term relationships.